7 Mountains of a Society

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

What was Year 2010 for me like?

The Year 2010 for me has been a year wrought with intense challenges, trials, and changes. It has been a really tough year. Moved into my house sometime in April. That has been and joy and hard work at the same time. Work wise - this year has saw me being employed as a part-time worker to full-time worker to casual worker all in a year. To top it all off, I've had to manage a mortgage & expenses (house maintenance, utilities, food and petrol) as well. Have I managed to buy myself a piece of new clothing - NOPE! Can't afford to waste money on that one. Well, God did tell me in 2009 - that my shoes and clothing will not wear off. So that - I suppose is a good thing to hear. (Not that I'm someone who does heaps of clothes/shoes shopping anyways - definitely not my favourite thing to do.) It has been tough for me emotionally as well. Wasn't expecting that one. (Not going to expand on that one). I've also had to learn to be vulnerable - to be honest about how I feel to others and to God as well. There has been a lot of tears. Bucket loads, I'd say. Everything have been so intense. My heart has just been so sore - from the intensity of it all. It's now Year 2011 and I can still feel it. Intense loneliness - is one of  the worst feelings ever. Things WILL have to change for Year 2011. Have had to confront various issues as well. Wasn't pleasant but very freeing at the end of it.

Besides all that, God's been doing some good things in my life too. One thing I can clearly say is that He has let me experience the kind of PEACE that surpasses understanding. I have felt it tangibly and have felt what it's like not to worry or be anxious. Being someone who perpetually worry all the time, that was something I definitely noticed. I'd have to say - going to School of Empowered Ministry have been a real blessing to me. It's not just any Bible College. It's one where not only do we get taught the Word of God, we get to experience it in a real sense. So, it's not just head knowledge. At every class, we activate what we've just learnt - we get ministered by God and we also learn to minister to each other. I miss those classes. It has brought me heaps of encouragement. Every class is charged with God's tangible presence. It is so addictive. One thing that really stood out to me was getting to know who God is as my Father - my Daddy. And I'm still getting to know Him. Have had to un-learn and re-learn a lot of things about God. Have had to re-learn about my identity was well - who I am in God.

Chris Tomlin - Lord I Need You